HomeQ&ASe escuchan sonidos de campanas, desde la torre, llamando suavemente; Corrections? Improvements? either language

Se escuchan sonidos de campanas, desde la torre, llamando suavemente; Corrections? Improvements? either language

0
votes

Scene 53 *******************************************************

En la distancia, se escuchan las campanas, llamando suavemente;

las campanas repican, mientras ellas bailan con la ropa lavada.

In the distance, the sounds of bells are heard, calling faintly;

the bells’ sound is heard as they dance with the washed clothing.

Los mosaicos azules de la iglesia reflejan los rayos del sol;

las nubes blancas decoran el cielo azul tan distante de ellas.

The azure tile dome of the village church reflects the sunshine;

the white clouds decorate a blue sky, far and away above them.

La vívida silueta del monaguillo en la torre de la iglesia

mientras él gira y gira los marcos de madera hechos a mano.

The lively silhouette of the sexton in the churchtower

as he turns and turns the old handcarved wooden frame.

La sombra de un muchacho se ve en la torre,

atrás de la desgastada balastrada de piedra.

The shadow of a boy is seen in the belltower,

standing behind a weathered stone balustrade.

3063 views
updated ENE 19, 2010
edited by Martin-Rizzi
posted by Martin-Rizzi

3 Answers

1
vote

La vívida silueta del monaguillo en la torre de la iglesia mientras él gira y gira los marcos de madera hechos a mano. The lively silhouette of the sexton in the churchtower as he turns and turns the old handcarved wooden frame.

  • churchtower isn’t a word in English, so best thing is simply separate the two = church tower,
  • plus you need to add a comma in order to separate the next line so it’s not part of the same clause

  • I really like how you used él gira y gira in Spanish, but the English comes across as the sexton is doing the action of both himself turning and he turning the frame, when I don’t think you mean it this way.

  • Here’s my opinion:

    The lively silhouette of the sexton in the church tower, as it turns, the old handcarved wooden frame [also] turns.

updated ENE 19, 2010
posted by bdclark0423
A lively silhouette of a sexton in the church tower; as it turns, the old handcarved wooden frame spins. - Martin-Rizzi, ENE 19, 2010
?¿ - Martin-Rizzi, ENE 19, 2010
that's beautiful!!!! - bdclark0423, ENE 19, 2010
1
vote

En la distancia, se escuchan las campanas, llamando suavemente;

las campanas repican, mientras ellas bailan con la ropa lavada.

Los mosaicos azules de la iglesia reflejan los rayos del sol;

las nubes blancas decoran el cielo azul tan distante de ellas.

La vívida silueta del monaguillo en la torre de la iglesia

mientras él gira y gira los marcos de madera hechos a mano.

La sombra de un muchacho se ve en la torre,

atrás de la desgastada balaustrada de piedra.

updated ENE 19, 2010
posted by Carlos-F
1
vote

Los mosaicos azules de la iglesia reflejan los rayos del sol; las nubes blancas decoran el cielo azul tan distante de ellas. The azure tile dome of the village church reflects the sunshine;

the white clouds decorate a blue sky, far and away above them.

  • The English description is a perfect image, but the Spanish one repeats azul
  • Isn’t there a term in Spanish that refers to blue tiles: azulejos, talaveras?
updated ENE 19, 2010
posted by bdclark0423
Los azulejos de la iglesia reflejan los rayos del sol; las nubes decoran el cielo azul tan distante de ellas. - Martin-Rizzi, ENE 19, 2010
SpanishDict is the world's most popular Spanish-English dictionary, translation, and learning website.
© Curiosity Media Inc.