Try to find out what this means: Disfraz, que no vestido
Ok, I promised something easier and here it is, and no, NOT a football text
The other day a very sarcastic and completely caustic article was posted in the opinion section of the newspaper I read talking about Suri Cruise. It was really hilarious and I wanted to post it here, but then....
Esta noticia ha sido eliminada
Stunning! Obviously it was not appreciated by the actor
However, we got this short article today, not nearly as difficult or caustic...but very nice and to the point. I guess many of you agree with the point of view of this lady (Angeles Lopez). 
I am hoping to see a lot of advanced learners participating
El sábado fue el cumpleaños de la hija de mi amiga Loli y el encargo de la pequeña, de seis años, me dejó noqueada: unas botas Lelli Kelly rojas de media caña de charol con tres centímetros de tacón. Un riñón y parte del páncreas me dejé en el dichoso complemento infantil que me retrotrajo a las horribles botas «gorila» que mi madre me compraba en los Guerrilleros. Sospecho que la pequeña de mi amiga le roba el «¡Hola!» a su madre y tal vez haya encontrado en Suri Cruise a su icono estilístico. Esa criatura, cuyos padres están a un paso de convertir en animal de compañía y que, a buen seguro acabará con cifosis –y hasta lordosis– por calzar tacón a una edad inapropiada. Eso, por no mencionar los vestidos a semejanza de su famosa mamá, los «trench», maxibolsos o las gafas de soldadora profesional que le «calzan». La última aberración contra el buen gusto se ha perpetrado en suelo patrio: en Sevilla, donde rueda su cienciólogo papi, la han disfrazado –vestirse es otra cosa– de flamenca, con volantes, zarcillos y zapatos de gitana. No sé si la «personal beauty assitant» es esa contrabandista del buen gusto llamada Victoria Beckham o responde a una iniciativa particular de sus tutores. Estarán conmigo en que muchos progenitores deberían pasar la ITV de la custodia por emisión de gases ridículos
30 Answers
Hi, Here´s my attempt, after lots of wiki. I hope its OK to be loose with the translation to make it understandable in English...
My friend Loli’s daughter’s birthday was on Saturday, and what that little six year old wanted knocked me for a loop: red patent leather Lelli Kelly boots, mid-calf, with 1 inch heels. It cost me an arm and a leg and then some to fulfill this childish wish, and took me back to those horrible little girls’ boots that my mother used to buy for me at Guerrilleros. I suspect that my friend’s little one swiped her mother’s “¡Hola! , and perhaps she has discovered her new style in Suri Cruise. That´s the creature whose parents are on their way to converting her into a household pet, and who will most certainly will end up with a back problem – Kyphosis, or ever Lordosis -- from wearing heels at such an inappropriate age. And that´s not to mention the clothing in the image of her famous mother -- the trench coats, the oversized bags, and trooper sunglasses they force on her. The latest perversion of good taste took place right here on native soil: in Seville, where her Scientologist daddy is filming, they costumed her up – this goes beyond dress up – in flamenco, with flounces, dangly earrings, and dancing heels. I don’t know if the “personal beauty assistant” is that fashion pirate Victoria Beckham, or if she was just taking her cue from her guardians. But I´m sure there are plenty of people agree with me that many who beget children should have to pass a parental emissions test for ridiculousness.
El sábado fue el cumpleaños de la hija de mi amiga Loli y el encargo de la pequeña, de seis años, me dejó noqueada: unas botas Lelli Kelly rojas de media caña de charol con tres centímetros de tacón. Un riñón y parte del páncreas me dejé en el dichoso complemento infantil que me retrotrajo a las horribles botas «gorila» que mi madre me compraba en los Guerrilleros.
On Saturday it was my friend Loli's daughter's birthday and the little one, who's six years old, her request knocked me out: Lelli Kelly red boots made of patent leather with a three-centimetre heel. I spent a fortune at the blessed childish garment that brought back the memories of the terrible "gorilla boots" that my mother bought me at los Guerrilleros".
.
Sospecho que la pequeña de mi amiga le roba el «¡Hola!» a su madre y tal vez haya encontrado en Suri Cruise a su icono estilístico. Esa criatura, cuyos padres están a un paso de convertir en animal de compañía y que, a buen seguro acabará con cifosis –y hasta lordosis– por calzar tacón a una edad inapropiada. Eso, por no mencionar los vestidos a semejanza de su famosa mamá, los «trench», maxibolsos o las gafas de soldadora profesional que le «calzan».
I suspect that the daughter steals her mum's "Hello!" magazine and maybe considers Suri Cruise as her fashion icon. This child whose parents are about to convert her in a pet and who, undoubtedly will end up having kyphosis - and even lordosis - because of wearing high heels at the wrong age. That, not to mention the clothes resembling those of her famous mummy, the fancy coats, maxi purses or professional sunglasses that actually "wear" her.
.
La última aberración contra el buen gusto se ha perpetrado en suelo patrio: en Sevilla, donde rueda su cienciólogo papi, la han disfrazado –vestirse es otra cosa– de flamenca, con volantes, zarcillos y zapatos de gitana. No sé si la «personal beauty assitant» es esa contrabandista del buen gusto llamada Victoria Beckham o responde a una iniciativa particular de sus tutores. Estarán conmigo en que muchos progenitores deberían pasar la ITV de la custodia por emisión de gases ridículos.
The latest outrage against the good taste has been committed on my native soil: in Sevilla, where Suri's scientologist daddy is shooting, she has been dressed up - to get dressed is a different thing - as an andalusian gipsy, with flounces, earrings, and gipsy shoes. I do not know whether her personal beauty assistant is that gunrunner of the good taste called Victoria Beckham or if she acts upon her tutors' own initiative. You will agree that many parents should send the ITV to custody for the emission of ridiculous gases.
Okay - that's my second, facelifted version. I decided to post it in pieces together with the original - I think it's a bit more convenient to read.
El sábado fue el cumpleaños de la hija de mi amiga Loli y el encargo de la pequeña, de seis años, me dejó noqueada: unas botas Lelli Kelly rojas de media caña de charol con tres centímetros de tacón. Un riñón y parte del páncreas me dejé en el dichoso complemento infantil que me retrotrajo a las horribles botas «gorila» que mi madre me compraba en los Guerrilleros.
Last Saturday it was my friend Loli's daughter's birthday and the little one, who's six years old, her request knocked me out: Lelli Kelly medium-sized red boots made of patent leather with a three-centimetre heel. It cost me an arm and a leg, the blessed childish garment that brought back the memories of the terrible "gorilla boots" that my mother bought me at los Guerrilleros.
.
Sospecho que la pequeña de mi amiga le roba el «¡Hola!» a su madre y tal vez haya encontrado en Suri Cruise a su icono estilístico. Esa criatura, cuyos padres están a un paso de convertir en animal de compañía y que, a buen seguro acabará con cifosis –y hasta lordosis– por calzar tacón a una edad inapropiada. Eso, por no mencionar los vestidos a semejanza de su famosa mamá, los «trench», maxibolsos o las gafas de soldadora profesional que le «calzan».
I suspect that the daughter snitches her mum's "Hello!" magazine and maybe has recognised Suri Cruise as her fashion icon. The child, whose parents are about to convert her in a pet and who, undoubtedly will end up having kyphosis - and even lordosis - because of wearing high heels at the wrong age. That, not to mention the clothes resembling those of her famous mummy, the fancy coats, maxi purses or professional sunglasses that actually "wear" her.
.
La última aberración contra el buen gusto se ha perpetrado en suelo patrio: en Sevilla, donde rueda su cienciólogo papi, la han disfrazado –vestirse es otra cosa– de flamenca, con volantes, zarcillos y zapatos de gitana. No sé si la «personal beauty assitant» es esa contrabandista del buen gusto llamada Victoria Beckham o responde a una iniciativa particular de sus tutores. Estarán conmigo en que muchos progenitores deberían pasar la ITV de la custodia por emisión de gases ridículos.
The latest outrage against the good taste has been committed on my native soil: in Sevilla, where Suri's scientologist daddy is shooting, she has been dressed up - to get dressed is a different thing - as an andalusian gipsy, with flounces, earrings, and gipsy shoes. I do not know whether her personal beauty assistant is that gunrunner of the good taste called Victoria Beckham or if she acts upon her tutors' own initiative. But you will agree that many parents should take the parent-worthiness test regarding the ridiculous gas emission.
Yikes! This wasn't easy at all!
This Saturday it was the birthday of my friend's daughter Loli, and the request that the little, six year old girl gave me was a knockout: a pair of Lilli Kelly boots, red patent-leather, mid-cut, with a 3 cm heel. I'd give my right arm to bring that to a happy fulfillment as I think back to the horrible gorilla boots my mother bought me for Los Guerrillos.
My guess is that that my friend's little girl learned how to charm from her mother, and has found in Suri Cruise her stylistic icon. This creature, whose parents are a step away from converting to a pet, will surely end up with kyphosis or even lordosis from wearing heels at an inappropriate age.
That, not to mention clothes resemble her famous mother, the trendy purses, or the glasses like those of professional welders that wear her. The ultimate offense against all that is good has been perpetrated on native soil: In Sevilla, where her Scientologist father is shooting, they have disguised her- dressed is not the word- as an andalusian gypsy, with big bracelets, earrings, and shoes of gypsies.
I don't know her personal beauty assistant is that hustler of fads called Victoria Beckham, or she is responding to a particular initiative of her tutors. You will join me in my belief that many parents need to pass the custody ITV- for emission of ridiculous gases.
By the way, Barbie is really cute but it is necessary for her to have a purse. - nila45
Como es natural : esta Barbie soy yo!! Reconozco que me falta el bolso y los tacones...bueno, creo que tacones sí tengo
If you are interested, this whole post has been translated by "google". Not a very good traslation but it is on their search engine. We must becoming fanous, hehe.
I haven't even looked over the texts, but I am happy that new people have tried luck on this text.
Sheila and Seb, welcome to the threads.
Well, you need to be advanced or brave...or both, jeje, my threads are difficult and very colloquial Spanish.
Let's see how you did
I took some liberties with the translation, so it is not exact:
Saturday was my friend Loli’s daughter’s birthday and the things this little six year old girl asked for really threw me for a loop (left me stunned): Red leather Lelli Kelly calf-length boots with 3 centimeter heels. I paid an arm and a leg (lost a kidney and part of my pancreas) for those darned kid’s accessories that brought back (painful) memories of the horrible "gorila" boots that my mother used to buy me in the Guerrilleros. I suspect that my friend’s little girl stole the “Hola” from her mother and maybe has come across her stylistic icon in Suri Cruise. That creature, whose parents are on the verge of turning her into a pet and that, surely will die with a hunchback (kyfosis) – and even a swayback (lordosis) – on account of wearing high-heeled shoes at such an inappropriate (young) age. That, not to mention the dresses like her famous mother’s, the “trench,” oversized-handbag or welder’s goggle-like sunglasses that they “dress” her in. The final outrage against good taste has been perpetrated on native soil: In Seville, where her scientologist father is filming, they have costumed her/made her up – dressing her is too kind a word – like a gypsy/in flamenco attire, with ruffles, earings and gypsy shoes. I don’t know if her “personal beauty assistant” is that smuggler of good taste called Victoria Beckham or (if) she answers to some particular initiative of her guardians. You are going to agree with me that many progenitors should (have to first) pass the ITV emissions test for custody to make sure that they are not stinking up the place.
Ok, I've had another go -
On Saturday it was my friend Loli's daughter's birthday and the little one's order(Birthday present request?), at six years old, left me knocked out (astounded me?): Red Lelli Kelly patent leather (mid length? mid calf?) boots with a three centimeter heel.
One kidney and part of my pancreas left me to make the child happy in a reminder of the horrible "gorilla" boots that my mother bought me at los Geurilla.
I suspect that my friend's little one steals her mother's "Hello" and has perhaps found her sylistic icon in Suri Cruise.
(I'm guessing that the "one kidney and part of the pancreas" is the Spanish equivalent of our English "It cost me an arm and a leg?" And that "los Geurilla" is the name of a Spanish store?)
That infant, whose parents are on the verge of turning her into a pet, will very surely end with spinal curvature - or even swayback - from wearing heels at an inappropriate age. That is not to mention the dresses like her famous mother, the trendy coats, huge bags or the welders glasses that she wears.
The latest aberration against good taste has been perpetuated on home soil: in Seville, where her Scientologist father is filming, they have disguised her - dressed is something else - as an Andalusian gypsy, with ruffles, gypsy earringgs and shoes.
I don't know if her "personal beauty assistant" is that smuggler of good taste called Victoria Beckham or if she responds to her guardians unusual initiatives. You will agree that many parents should pass the ITV (a test of roadworthiness?) for custody.
Ok - Make allowances Heidi - I'm not advanced!
So far, I have:
On Saturday it was my friend Loli's daughter's birthday and the little one's order(Birthday present request?), at six years old, left me knocked out (astounded me?): Red Lelli Kelly patent leather (mid length? mid calf?) boots with a three centimeter heel.
Probably completely wrong, and the kidney and the pancreas in the next sentence have flummoxed me for the time being! 
Just a rough translation, so far:
On saturday, it was my friend Loli's daughters bithday and the request of the six year old left me knocked out: red lelli kelly leather boots midcut with a three centimetre heel. It cost me an arm and a leg(this is probably the expression used instead of kidney and pancreas) for that child's happiness and brought back the memories of the horrible boots which my mum used to buy me in the Guerrilleros. I suspect that the daughter steals her mother's Hello magazine and perhaps she thinks of Suri Cruise as her fashion icon. The creature, whose parents undoubtedly spoil her (I guess this is code for turning into a pet), will surely end up having lordosis and even kyphosis because wearing high heels inher age is inappropriate. The clothes that she wears have a strong resemblanceto that of her mummy, the fancy coats, maxi purses or professional sunglasses all of which actually 'wear' her. The final outrage against good taste has occured on home soil: In Seville, where her scientologist of a father as been filming, she has been disguised-to get dressed is another thing, in flamenco clothes wth ruffles, gypsy earrings and shoes. I don't know if her personal beauty assistant is that distasteful girl- Victoria Beckham (as oppose to smuggler of good taste which does not make sense to me) or if she responds to her parents own initiatives. You will agree with me though, that many parents should send the ITV to custody for ......(the last part is too difficult. What does the emissions of ridiculous gases have anything to do with this article??)
Saturday was the birthday of my friend Loli's daughter and the request of the little one, who's 6 years old, floored me: some Lelli Kelly red-lacquered legging boots with three centimeter heels. I lost a kidney and part of my pancreas for a **** childish complement that brought me back to the horrible gorilla boots that my mom would buy me in the Guerrilleros. I suspect that the my friend's little girl snatched her mother's "Hello" and perhaps has found a stylish icon in Suri Cruise. That child, whose parents are one step away from converting her to a housepet, and who surely will end up with cifosos? and maybe yet lordosis? for wearing heels at such an inappropriate age. That's not to mention the dresses like her famous mother, the coats, bags, or welding glasses that all hang off her. The final aberration against good taste has perpetrated itself on home soil: in Seville, where her scientologist father is shooting, they have put her in a flamenco costume--dressing is another thing--with frills, earrings, and gypsy shoes. I don't know if the personal beauty assistant is that contrabandist of good taste named Victoria Beckingham or if she is responding to a particular initiative of her tutors. You're probably with me in that parents should pass the custody ITV? for such ridiculousness.
Saturday was my friend Loli’s daughter’s birthday and the things this little six year old girl asked for really threw me for a loop (left me stunned): Red leather Lelli Kelly calf-length boots with 3 centimeter heels. I paid an arm and a leg (lost a kidney and part of my pancreas) for those darned kid’s accessories that brought back (painful) memories of the horrible "gorila" boots that my mother used to buy me in the Guerrilleros. I suspect that my friend’s little girl stole the “Hola” from her mother and maybe has come across her stylistic icon in Suri Cruise. That creature, whose parents are on the verge of turning her into a pet and that, surely will die with a hunchback (kyfosis) – and even a swayback (lordosis) – on account of wearing high-heeled shoes at such an inappropriate (young) age. That, not to mention the dresses like her famous mother’s, the “trench,” oversized-handbag or welder’s goggle-like sunglasses --excellent----that they “dress” her in---yesssssss. The final outrage against good taste has been perpetrated on native soil: In Seville, where her scientologist father is filming, they have costumed her/made her up – dressing her is too kind a word – like a gypsy/in flamenco attire, with ruffles, earings and gypsy shoes. I don’t know if her “personal beauty assistant” is that smuggler of good taste called Victoria Beckham or (if) she answers to some particular initiative of her guardians. You are going to agree with me that many progenitors should (have to first) pass the ITV emissions test for custody to make sure that they are not stinking up the place.------great!
I agree with the progenitors....this is part of her sarcasm. Izan,,,,but how could you miss the tense on the roba??? tse, tse, tse jejeje
I hope all members who have participated in this thread have seen the final choice. I would have loved to be able to chose all of you, wonderful job, and without hints
