La Revista Negocios Hispanos UsA

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Can you guys help me make corrections? Thanks

The Hispanic Business Magazine UsA, aims to be the link between the various Latin American communities, and achieve the real power that would strengthen the economic, political and social areas.

It also seeks to create proper representation in all the different Latin American countries and offer entrepreneurs and professionals with a large range of advertising services to market their products and services in the United States.

Currently the U.S. Hispanic Business Magazine, which circulates in the Tri-State area, through its six editions has incorporated sections of countries like Ecuador, Dominican Republic, Colombia, Mexico, Peru, Honduras, El Salvador, Chile, Puerto Rico and Brazil and others that will be included in future editions.

After conducting eight events celebrating the incorporation of the aforementioned countries, the U.S. Hispanic Business Executives has invited them to participate to its first Christmas dinner and celebration of Sections of Puerto Rico and Brazil, an activity to be held in Brasilia Restaurant City Grill in Newark on December 4th at 7:30 pm to be attended by all representatives of Latin American countries, mainly representatives of different municipalities and consulates.

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updated NOV 19, 2009
posted by 0068e2f4

5 Answers

2
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Hi Robertico, These are the changes I would make.

The Hispanic Business Magazine UsA, aims to be the link between the various Latin American communities in order to achieve the real power that would strengthen the economic, political and social areas.

It also seeks to create proper representation in all the different Latin American countries and offers entrepreneurs and professionals a large range of advertising services to market their products and services in the United States.

Currently the U.S. Hispanic Business Magazine, which circulates in the Tri-State area through its six editions, has incorporated sections of countries such as Ecuador, The Dominican Republic, Colombia, Mexico, Peru, Honduras, El Salvador, Chile, Puerto Rico and Brazil. Additional countries will be included in future editions.

After conducting eight events, celebrating the incorporation of the aforementioned countries, the U.S. Hispanic Business Executives have invited them to participate in its first Christmas Dinner and celebration of Sections of Puerto Rico and Brazil.This is an activity to be held in Brasilia Restaurant City Grill, in Newark on December 4th at 7:30 PM. This event is to be attended by representatives of all Latin American countries, (but) mainly representatives of different municipalities and consulates.

updated NOV 19, 2009
edited by Nicole-B
posted by Nicole-B
1
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I might say seeks to be the real focus or real focus of power

Are you saying the magazine is available in these various countries or it creates proper representation of these countries? With the next sentence I would think you would use "of". I think that last sentence is really a paragraph and should be broken into a few sentences. ...first Christmas dinner. Will be a celebration of Sections of abc. It will be held at...etc 7:30 pm. Those attending will be......

updated NOV 19, 2009
posted by nizhoni1
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The Hispanic Business Magazine UsA, Is that the title of the magaizine? Or is it called just UsA? If the title if just UsA, then you don't need the capital letters. The Hispanic business magazine UsA........

Does UsA deliberately use a small "s" in the middle?

....have invited them to participate in its first Christmas Dinner and celebration of Sections of Puerto Rico and Brazil This last bit doesn't make any sense.

updated NOV 19, 2009
posted by 00515f39
jajaja the small a in the middle is because of this place...The whole name is The Hispanic Business Magazine USA
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The Hispanic Business Magazine UsA -- aims to be the link between -- various Latin American communities -- and achieve the real power...

.

and offer entrepreneurs and professionals -- a large range of ...

"seeks to create (...) and (seek to) offer" or "seeks to create (...) and offers"?

the U.S. Hispanic Business Executives have (??) invited them to participate in its first Christmas dinner and celebration of Sections of Puerto Rico and Brazil

.

and others -- will be included in future editions

updated NOV 19, 2009
edited by Issabela
posted by Issabela
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Thank you guys...I really appreciate...Thank you so much!!! grin

updated NOV 19, 2009
posted by 0068e2f4