Chapter one of one of my Sci/fi stories. Sorry, not in Spanish!
Please read and comment. This is chapter one of the stories I'm writing, and one of the less interesting parts.
Isal spun his laser knife through the air, catching it by the handle as it fell towards the sand. He looked at all of his surroundings, strange as they were. He was in the Flatline of Juirsda, the fourth planet of his solar system.
Although he had been here before, it still amazed Isal that Peren, his friend, would ever want to live in such a warm climate. Isal lived in the Greenert, or, as the kids in his neighborhood called it, the Greenie. It was more tropical than any other climate on Juirsda, and also had the most wildlife.
The Flatline was the hottest of all the regions on the planet, though there were only four. One was the Greenert, Isals land, another was the Flatline, where Peren lived, and the other two were the Kordam Plane and the Sogada Falls.
Kordam was very cold, and often Isal had to go on runs with his Serian ally Talia to take food and water to friends that lived in that region because of the lack of goods that were there. Sogada was the watery part of the planet, and was easily eighty percent water. Isal and Talia loved to go there and just swim around in the water for hours. Talia, being a Serian, loved the water, and was a wonderful swimmer, which was a good thing for Isal, who couldnt swim at all.
Isal was looking for Peren at the moment, walking along with Talia at his side. Isal was starting to get worried, for Peren wasnt anywhere near his home. With his eyesight and Talias senses of hearing and smell, they would have found him there if he had been there at all.
Talia looked at her friend. Dont worry, Isal. I am sure well find him eventually. He can't be very far from home, and besides, you know he can take care of himself, she said in her rough voice. Isal continued fiddling with his knife. His parents had given it the knife to him when he had turned fifteen, a time when he finally left the home, finished his Guardian training, and was bonded with a Serian like Talia. Serians were similar to wolves in many ways, including appearance. However, Serians were the same size as horses, they could speak, and had colored fur.
Talia had purplish-blue fur, and Isal had chosen her at his bonding ceremony because she had a wonderful personality. Isal had spent some time with her before, and had loved her playful, mischievous attitude, and her loyalty.
I guess you may be right, Talia, he said to his friend, But I do think he would have been back by now. I dont want to think about him getting hurt, especially with all of these Skraan running around Flatline. You know how dangerous they are. Isal still had a scar on his leg from where a Skraan had stuck him before. The head sized, mosquito like creatures feasted on blood as younglings, and when they grew older they somehow went through a metamorphosis in which they became human shaped, and much bigger. A good-sized, full grown Skraan was about seven feet tall, and often had a swarm of younglings as his aids. They continued eating meat human, most often until they died when they were about fifty.
All the more reason to find him quickly, Talia said. Get on.
Isal shook his head. You know I hate doing that. It makes me feel like I'm trying to be superior over you.
Talia huffed. If I thought you were trying to be superior over me, I wouldnt let you ever get on. But, Isal, I know you, and have known you for almost three years. You wouldnt do that. Now get on.
No. Isal said. It will just tire you down.
Fine, Talia said. Have it youre way.
Isal was amazed. He had never won any arguments with Talia; she had always gotten what she wanted, usually by getting it herself.
Whoa!!! Isal shouted as he flipped into the air. He landed smoothly on Talias back. She looked back at him grinned, showing all of her teeth.
I told you to get on.
And I said no.
Does that matter? Talia took off at her fastest speed, Isal sitting on her back. She howled into the air, some of her animal instincts coming out. I love speed! she shouted back towards Isal. Isal laughed along with her. Though he hated acting superior, he never ceased to love the rides on Talias back. He loved going fast almost as much as she did.
Isal didnt forget why he was here, though. He searched the landscape, trying to get a glimpse of any clue where his friend was. Finally, his keen eyes caught a track of footprints heading off in a northerly direction. He tapped Talia on her shoulder, pointing it out for her. She stopped, and Isal jumped off her.
I dont like this. Isal said. Not at all. Now that he looked closer, he actually saw three tracks where it had looked like only one existed. The thing that worried him the most wasnt that one of the sets of tracks was human sized, and had the same shoe design that Peren did. The thing that worried him the most wasnt even the way the tracks of his friend seemed to mostly drag on the ground. The thing that worried him the most was that he recognized the shape of the other tracks.
Here is the begining of mine. But that's all you get.
Blood pooled around the fallen coke dealer, spreading - black, like oil, in the alley, where not even the moonlight offered much help from the pressing darkness. The attacker dropped a blue bandana and melted back into the shadows of the alley as silently as he arrived.
Here is the old begining.
Silence is the friend of the hunter and the hunted but silence can also be an enemy to the hunted, especially if you dont realize you are the one being hunted.
xP I'm writing a book too. Lol not nearly alike. Umm...It's cool. Here's some of mine... Well, the beginning. C:
Me, Amber Autumn Patterson there walking at the mall with the best guy friend in the world I thought. His name is Keith Westly Castleton and his age just turned sixteen. I am still the boring age of fourteen. Maybe my life has just begun. Keith is a tall six foot one football player. Hes not exactly beefy, nor thin. Just a normal teenage boy ugg His hair is black and his eyes are same as mine, the gorgeous color hazel. He wears the best cloths in the world. Well, I think he does. Hee hee. He is a lot like me kind of well, he is a Christian, and he loves video games. (Keith buys games way too much.). He has a younger brother named Kevin. Kevin is thirteen. There isnt really any good description for him. (Except that his voice sounds like a girls voice.) Hahhah! I pulled Keiths arm into this little store full of awesome gothic and emo cloths. There were also some black accessories. EEEEK! I screeched. Keith jumped and looked at me slovenly. What was that for? he asked freaked out. I grabbed his arm seemingly dislocating it and showed him this black shirt with bold white letters saying If you keep jacking my style, you wont live to see tomorrow It had a picture of a punk princess on the back. Thats a cool T-shirt. I gleamed with bedazzled eyes. ( In a sarcastic way) Oh Amber, look at this. Keith showed me a black wristband with an emo cartoon on the front saying Love me, Hate me. I feel the same for you. I looked at the price tag and wowzerz I thought, its on sale! Heh. It cost $1.99 Ooh! It was originally $4.99. I grabbed two and held them in my hand while my eyes were scanning the store for anything else on clearance. Why two Amber? he asked. Well, for both of us Keithster Ill buy them. I know its cheap but choosers cant be beggars. I grinned. Is all I can say is Danke. He replied. I bought both of the wristbands. All of the other things in the store were more then expensive so we both walked out exploring the rest of the mall like a child in candy land. I handed him his wristband and he slipped it on his wrist smiling. Lets get some lunch Amber. Sure. I replied What would you like? Im not sure. You choose Keith. HAHA Amber, this mall has everything. You should have the right to choose. Just at that second my cell phone started ringing. Its Suesan. That rang three times before I finally picked it up holding up my finger to Keith for one second.
Hey, I plan on adding more chapters each day. Your welcome to read each one and suggest any changes you can think of.
Wow, Seitheach, I like your beginning... I have to post the "edited version" of my story 'cuz the original has some swear words in it. Another chapter coming tomorrow.
Yeah, mine is like my "Fiction dream" Its based on real life.
I prefer Hoah's Sci-Fi.