Chistes

Question

Post your favorite jokes

El médico le dice a su paciente en tono muy enérgico:
? En los próximos meses nada de fumar, nada de beber, nada de salir con mujeres ni ir a comer a esos restaurantes caros, y nada de viajes ni vacaciones.
? ¿Hasta que me recupere doctor?
? ¡No, hasta que me pague todo lo que me debe!

Answer 1

todo el mundo because there were a few nuns and they were okay. It doesn't literally mean "the whole world" just as "everyone" doesn't literally mean every single person. Just everyone in the group. Make sense
ME

Answer 2

The nuns are the only ones who didn't crash. Everybody else did.

Answer 3

This is how I think it should read.

2 nuns on a motorcycle go around a curve where everyone else has crashed (probably in the past). They navigate it quite easily. A policeman that was there asked the nuns how they managed the curve so easily, & they responded, " God was with us" Sorry, Fine for 3 on the motorcycle!"

Answer 4

oh, gotcha!

Answer 5

Por supuesto,
Gracias

Jokes lose a little something when I translate them.

Answer 6

Hey, I am not saying I am correct, this is the way I read it. I always have trouble translating normal conversation, let alone jokes.

Answer 7

Well at least your translation might get a chuckle.

Answer 8

haha

Answer 9

Doctor, doctor, dígame la verdad. Después de la operación podré tocar la guitarra ?
Si hombre, perfectamente.
Que bien! porque antes no sabia.

Doctor, doctor, que tengo paperas!
Pues tome cuarenta duros mas y ya tiene pá plátanos

Doctor, doctor, los cuernos salen?
No, hombre, no. Eso es una manera de hablar.
Ah! menos mal! Ya pensaba que tenia falta de calcio.

Answer 10

Eddy, jaja you are right when you said that the catalans are knowing for be mean or scrooge...how do you say that in english'.
But it is not true. I'm come from catalonia and this is a urban legend...like the people from Andalucia are lazy or in Madrid are show-off.
Catalonia is a good place for live and visit and the people here are wonderful, like another place in Spain.
I will tell you some jokes when I remember a good one.

Answer 11

Here you have my joke...!!!!

IN SPANISH
Coinciden tres ex-combatientes y hacen alusión a sus heridas de guerra:
El primero enseña una cicatriz en el pecho y dice: -Kansas City.
El segundo enseña otra en el brazo derecho -London City.
El tercero, español él, enseña una en el bajo vientre y dice: -Apendiciti

IN ENGLISH
Three war's ex-veteran see each other in a place and then they show their injuries.
The first show his chest's scar and say...Kansas City.
The second show his right arm's scar and say...London City.
The third, Spanish, show one in the lower abdomen and say...Appendicitis

HAHAHAHAH!!! (Not is the best but is funny...don't you')

Answer 12

This one may not be very funny to people who don't know who these people are, but I'll tell it anyway. Lo siento si pienses que es en malo gusto.

los muertes de celebridades en general vienen de la tres. Billy Mays dio el uno cuarto por gratis.

Celebrity deaths usually come in threes. Billy Mays threw in the fourth one for free.

(The three deaths other than him were McMahon, Fawcett, and Micheal Jackson.)

Answer 13

¿Qué le dijo el mar a la playa?
«¡Hola!»

Kinda has to be said outloud to make sense.