Please, check my essay. Thanks in advance.

Question

A Hard Experience

Two years ago we were working in the south district of the city installing pipelines. Our work consisted in digging a hole in the street, installing the pipes, refilling and compacting the ground in order to allow transit to resume. All of this had to be done in a journal. As we were installing the pipeline we were moving along the streets.

I was at charge of a brigade of 12 workers an excavator and a dump truck. We had a portable toilet which it was carried in the front part (the spoon) of the excavator. One day, we had to work untill 8:00 in the evening. When we were ending our journal, I asked the operator to take the portable toilet with him to our facilities. He asked me to leave the device there, because of the difficulty of operating the machine, in the night and with something covering his sight. I repplied, no. I was convinced that nothing could happen, that it would be a short and not risky trip to our facilities because they weren`t so far from our work site.

When I was at office I recieved a call from him. He told me that he have had an accident. He had hit a minibus in the rear part with a serious damage. It was a miracle that no one was in that part of the minibus at that moment. I'd realized that I had taken a wrong decision which could have injured or worst, killed somebody. The main priority for our company is safety, and I failed in that.

In work, there are many things that we usually take for granted, and some days we have to take difficult decisions, but from that day I've started to take the things more seriously. It was my first job, is not an excuse, but experience is sometimes hard to acquire.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes -Oscar Wilde

Answer 1

Wow, that is very impressive work. Congratulations!

Two years ago we were working in the south district of the city installing pipelines. Our work consisted in digging a hole in the street, installing the pipes, refilling, and compacting the ground in order to allow transit to resume. All of this had to be done in a day. As we were installing the pipeline we were moving along the streets.

I was in charge of a brigade of 12 workers, an excavator and a dump truck. We had a portable toilet which (no "it") was carried in the front part (the bucket) of the excavator. One day, we had to work until (only one "L") 8:00 in the evening. When we were ending our day, I asked the operator to take the portable toilet with him to our facility. He asked me to leave the device there, because of the difficulty of operating the machine (no comma) in the night**, with** something hiding it from sight. I replied (only one "p"), No. I was convinced that nothing could happen, that it would be a short and not risky trip to our facility because it wasn't so far from our work site.

When I was at the office I received a call from him. He told me that he had had an accident. He had hit a minibus in the rear part with (no article) serious damage resulting. It was a miracle that no one was in that part of the minibus at that moment. I (I, not "I had") realized that I had made **a **bad decision which could have injured or**, worse**, killed somebody. The main priority for our company is safety, and I failed in that.

In work, there are many things that we usually take for granted, and some days we have to make difficult decisions, but from that day I've started to take (no article) things more seriously. It was my first job, so this is not an excuse, but experience is sometimes hard to acquire.

• It looks like "journal" refers to "one day" ? - pesta Feb 8, 2012
• Yes, that's what I was thinking. - Jeremias Feb 8, 2012
• Oh, you're right. I was thinking in "jornada" like "jornada laboral", and I put journal. Silly mistake. Thank you amigos. - nelson_rafae Feb 8, 2012

Answer 2

Two years ago we were working in the south district of the city installing pipelines. Our work consisted of digging a hole in the street, installing the pipes, and refilling and compacting the ground in order to allow transit to resume. All of this had to be done in a (don't know what word you are going for, but this is wrong.). As we were installing the pipeline we were moving along the streets.

I was at charge of a brigade of 12 workers, an excavator ,and a dump truck. We had a portable toilet which was carried in the front part (the spoon) of the excavator. One day, we had to work untill 8:00 in the evening. When we were ending our ?, I asked the operator to take the portable toilet with him to our facilities. He asked me to leave the device there because it was difficulty to operate the machine in the night, especially with with something covering his sight. I said no. I was convinced that nothing could happen. I thought that it would be a short and safe trip to our facilities because they weren`t very far from our work site.

When I was back at the office, I recieved a call from him. He told me that he was in an accident. He had hit a minibus in the rear and caused serious damage. It was a miracle that no one was in that part of the minibus when the wreck happened. I realized that I had made a wrong decision which could have injured, or worse, killed someone. The main priority for our company is safety, and I failed in that regard.

In work, there are many things that we usually take for granted. Some days we have to make difficult decisions, and since that day I've started to take things more seriously.That it was my first job is not an excuse, but experience is sometimes hard to acquire.

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes -Oscar Wilde

You did an excellent job. There are only minor corrections. Please see my note in parethesis and the ? where the wrong word was used again. I didn't know what you were trying to say in those places. Other than that, I changed the wording in some places, so just compare with your original.

• Thank you very much, kdrinning. I'll check it. - nelson_rafae Feb 8, 2012

Answer 3

I have been working on beginner Spanish writing and I know how difficult this project can be. I am giving my opinion as to how I would have written this in English. I haven't looked at the other suggestions for fear I would "chicken out" and not try. My grammar is not the best in English, but Heidita tells us to try and give feedback, so here goes. My own thoughts are in italics. Any corrections to my suggestions or thoughts may be left here as a comment and appreciated.

A Hard Experience

Two years ago we were working installing pipelines in the south district of the city. installing pipelines. (We know that installing pipelines is work.) Our work consisted in of digging a hole in the street, installing the pipes, and refilling and compacting the ground in order to allow transit to resume. All of this had to be done in a journal. As we were installing the pipeline we were moving along the streets.

I was at in charge of a brigade of 12 workers, an excavator and a dump truck. We had a portable toilet which it was carried in the front part (the spoon) of the excavator. One day, we had to work untill (one l) 8:00 in the evening. When we were ending our journal, I asked the operator to take the portable toilet with him to our facilities. He asked me to leave the device there, because of the difficulty of operating the machine, (I would remove the comma because "the machine in the night" is the first difficulty) in the night and with something covering his sight. I repplied, (one p) no. I was convinced that nothing could happen, that it would be a short and not risky trip to our facilities because they weren`t so far from our work site. (I would break the sentence into two parts: I was convinced that nothing could happen. The trip would be short and not very risky because they weren't too far from our work site.)

When I was at in the office I recieved (i before e except after c; that's a mantra or saying we learned as children) a call from him. He told me that he have had had an accident. He had hit a minibus in the rear part with a and caused serious damage. (We know the "rear" refers to the bumper part, it doesn't need to be stated, it's implied. Like "covering his sight" above ) It was a miracle that no one was in that part of the minibus at that moment. I'd I realized that I had taken made a wrong decision which could have injured, or worst worse, killed somebody. The main priority for our company is safety, and I failed in that. (Another way to word this might be, "safety and I failed.")

In work, there are many things that we usually take for granted, and some days we have to take make difficult decisions, but from that day I've started to take the things more seriously. It was my first job, is not an excuse, but experience is sometimes hard to acquire. (Another wording might be, "It was my first job. This is not an excuse, but....")

This is excellent work Nelson. And I hope you feel encouraged with all the member's feedback.

• Thank you very much indeed, bandit. Of couse, I do feel encouraged with your help. :) - nelson_rafae Feb 8, 2012