Could you proofread my English text? is a conclusion

Question

This is a conclusion of an argumentative Essay.

It should be evident that the argument about students not being required to wear uniforms is not valid. On the contrary, wearing uniforms at school expresses and manifests uniformity and dissolves all kinds of socio-economic discrimination. Furthermore, the wearing of uniforms conveys a serious towards school because it displays values, reliability, and a desire to learn. Therefore, in my opinion, students should wear school uniforms because restoring ordeer to unruly classrooms over all is largely avoided gans, fosting more adherence to discipline, improving self-esteem among the student population, and invoking a higher feeling of school pride.

Thanks

Answer 1

Hi Mary, I thought your English was very good in this paragraph. Besides 'seriousness' and mis-spelling 'order' and 'fostering', there were no mistakes. The other corrections are just ways to make the English more natural. I think 'gans' must have been a word processing accident. Well done!

It should be evident that the argument about students not being required to wear uniforms is not valid. On the contrary, wearing uniforms at school expresses and manifests uniformity and dissolves all kinds of socio-economic discrimination. Furthermore, the wearing of uniforms conveys a seriousness towards school because it encourages values, reliability, and a desire to learn. Therefore, in my opinion, students should wear school uniforms because restoring order to unruly classrooms over all is largely avoided, fostering a greater adherence to discipline, improving self-esteem, and invoking a higher sense of school pride.

• Thanks Jeremias and Thanks too for your corrections in the Introduction - maylegoas Dec 21, 2011