9 Vote

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Posted Mar 14, 2011
| Edited by DJ_Huero Mar 16, 2011
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Hilarious :) - Sabor Mar 14, 2011 flag

Well you know there is many a true word spoken in jest, you are joking by the way are you not? - kenwilliams Mar 14, 2011 flag

Yes. ;-) - 00d7cd75 Mar 14, 2011 flag

Love it! - Leatha Mar 14, 2011 flag

I've seen this loads of times, I actually wish it was true. Spelling is my lifelong N M E! - rabbitwho Mar 14, 2011 flag

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7 Answers

5 Vote

margaretbl

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Mar 16, 2011
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4 Vote

DJ_Huero

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R O F L!

Mar 16, 2011
| Edited by DJ_Huero Mar 16, 2011
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lmao! - owllady Mar 16, 2011 flag

:) - Jeremias Aug 14, 2011 flag

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2 Vote

lazarus1907

I have read the same mail, but with Spanish spelling, making the whole thing 100% phonetic so it is hard to understand. If such a phonetic change makes a phonetic language impossible to understand, imagine an impossible language to understand made phonetic.

Solution for English spelling

Solution? None! English has one of the most unnecessarily randomly spellings of the planet, even though it is comparatively regular morphologically speaking. The spelling seems to be designed to discourage everyone's attempt at using it.