Anyone able to proof-read my spanish paragraph about brain-stealing?

Question

Hi, I'm writing a piece on 'my greatest fear' for spanish class (i am a native english speaker). This is a paragraph I'm not too sure about... could someone possibly check the grammar/punctuation for me? I tend to have particular trouble with direct/indirect object and spanish punctuation:

Les odio a las personas que hablan dos, tres, cuatro lenguas con afluencia (sin problemas). Les odio a las personas que aprenden una lengua durante dos o tres años y pueden hablarlo como su lengua materna. Estoy celosa, obvio. ¿No entiendo, como lo hacen? ¡Me gustaría robarles de sus cerebros para descubrir el parte que les da tanto talento con las idiomas! Mi frustración es evidente en cualquier lado.

what I want to say is something like this:

I hate people that speak two, three, four languages fluently (without problems). I hate people that learn a language for two or three years and can speak it like it's their mother tongue. I'm jealous, obviously. I don't understand, how do they do it? I would like to steal their brains and discover the part that gives them such talent with languages! My frustration is evident everywhere.

Any suggestions that would make my spanish flow better would be greatly appreciate, my class is full of native spanish speakers and I'm pretty nervous :/

Thanks/gracias!

P.S. my greatest fear at the moment is not learning spanish. Sorry if you're one of the people mentioned in my piece. I don't actually want to steal your brain.

• Thanks for your help everyone, I've actually taken recommendations from each of you. Thanks again! - Hil Jan 25, 2011

Answer 1

I would change the verb odiar por desagradarme. The meaning of I hate in English does not necessarily translate one-to-one in Spanish. Here are some other minor stylistic corrections. Good luck with the assignment!

Me desagradan las personas que hablan dos, tres y cuatro lenguas con fuidez (sin problemas). Y las que (no need to be redundant) estudian una lengua durante dos o tres años y pueden hablarla como su lengua materna. Estoy celosa, obviamente. No entiendo, ¿cómo lo hacen? ¡Me gustaría robarles sus cerebros para descubrir qué parte les da tanto talento con los idiomas! Mi frustración es evidente en todo sentido.

• fluidez.. - Deanski Jan 25, 2011

Answer 2

Odio a las personas que hablan dos, tres, cuatro lenguas con fuidez (sin problemas). Odio a las personas que aprenden una lengua durante dos o tres años y pueden hablarla como su lengua materna. Estoy celosa, obvio. No entiendo, ¿cómo lo hacen? ¡Me gustaría robarles sus cerebros para descubrir qué parte les da tanto talento con los idiomas! Mi frustración es evidente en todos lados.

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it´s a very nice paragraph. I suppose it ´s not autobiographical

If so, you can always study neurobiology

Answer 3

Hello my name is Julian. I am a native spanish speaker, but I am interesting in learning english, I can lend you a hand with this, you know what they say, if you scratch my back I scratch yours jeje... please correct me if I have any mistake... Then I am going to the right point. Your gramar is good but you have some little mistakes, if I were you I would write down this like that:

Odio a las personas que hablan dos, tres, cuatro idiomas fluidamente (sin problemas). Odio a las personas que aprenden una lengua durante dos o tres años y luego lo hablan como su lengua materna. Estoy celosa, obvio. No entiendo cómo lo hacen. ¡Me gustaría robarles de sus cerebros las ideas o (robarles sus cerebros) para descubrir la parte que les da tanto talento con las idiomas! Mi frustración es evidente sea como sea.

• Hi Julian. Thanks for the response. There are some small corrections I would make to your paragraph in english. They are: - Hil Jan 25, 2011

Answer 4

"Hello my name is Julian. I am a native spanish speaker* but I am interested in learning english. I can lend you a hand with this (you know what they say) if you scratch my back I scratch yours jeje... please correct me if I have made any mistakes... I will get right to the point. Your grammar is good but you make some little mistakes, if I were you I would write it down like this:"

I have placed asterisks around things that I have changed. Some of the phrases you used weren't necessarily incorrect but they sound a bit odd.

Hope this helps and thanks again for the response! ¡Suerte con el inglés!