Funny stories and jokes

Question

In Japanese history, there was a shogun named Ashikaga. Spanish always hear "Ashikaga" as "así caga", meaning "to poop this way". So they learn that in Japanese history, there was a shogun pooping this way. Do you have any funny stories and jokes related to Spanish?

Answer 1

My teacher told us this joke in class.

A man is visiting the US from Spain and the first night, he realizes he forgot to pack socks. He goes to a clothing store to buy some. He points to his feet, hoping the clerk would know some Spanish and says, "Necesito los calcetínes."

The clerk says, "I'm sorry, I don't understand. Do you mean this?" He holds up a pair of shoes.

The man says, "No necesito los zapatos, necesito los calcetínes."

After a few more failed attempts, the clerk holds up a pair of socks and asks if this is what the man wanted. The man says "¡Eso, sí que es!"

The clerk hands him the socks and asks, "Why didn't you just spell it in the first place?" ("Eso, sí que es" sounded like "s-o-c-k-s" to him.)

• Not bad! - sjanner Sep 18, 2010
• Funny! - IndianaChris Sep 18, 2010

Answer 2

I heard this one in Mexico.

A rich Mexican moves to the United States and asks a contractor to build him a mansion. After describing the marbled floors, the rooms, and the columns he wants in the house, he describes a hallway and says he wants the contractor to put a "halo statue" at the end of the hall. The contractor, knowing that Mexicans are very religious people, assumes that this statue is some kind of image that the man worships. He agrees with the terms and enters into a contract with the rich Mexican.

Some time later the house is finished and it is exactly what the Mexican wanted. As he walks through the house he praises the contractor for doing such an outstanding job. As they come down the hallway, the contractor begins to apologize. "I'm sorry sir", he says. "I looked everywhere for that statue that you wanted but I couldn't find anybody who knew anything about it. If you can tell me in more detail what it is, I'll be happy to get one and place it here for you." The Mexican turns to him and says, "You know what it is! It is that thing that goes ringy dingy and you pick it up and say 'Halo, es t'at you?'" (Hello, is that you?)

• ...ringy dingy ... love it! - patch Sep 18, 2010

Answer 3

(This joke will probably only make sense to other Brits ...........)

A couple from Yorkshire go on holiday to Spain. They've just arrived at their apartment and the wife is unpacking the suitcases.

"Oh no!" she suddenly cries in despair. "What is it?" replies the husband "What's up lass?

"Oh no!" wails the poor woman "I was going to cook us a meal but I forgot to pack the Bisto" [well-known brand of "gravy granuals"]

"Eeeeh don't worry lass" says the husband "I think there's a couple from London in the apartment next door. I'll go and ask them".

The Yorkshireman knocks on the next door and a few moments later a man appears .....

"Awaight mate - can I 'elp you? asks the Cockney, to which the Yorshireman replies -

"Aye - has thee any Bisto?

The Cockney looks totally perplexed and stammers -

¡Perdon - No hablo español!

---

"Aye - has thee any Bisto? (Yes - Do you have any Bisto?)

sounds like ¡Ay! ¿Has zieni visto?

.........which obviously makes no sense in Spanish. I've also just ruined the joke (which was rubbish in the first place) but there you go ........