Greeting each other when meeting: shaking hands, kisses, hugs...

Question

Some people consider to be poor manners if a man shakes hands with a woman for first time... What is your way of greeting other people when meeting for first time?

• consider it to be poor manners/ shake(s)/ for "the" first time - Nicole-B Jun 9, 2010
• Gracias. :) - AntMexico Jun 9, 2010
• Another great question Morbo!! - Nicole-B Jun 9, 2010
• Very good question! - Yeser007 Jun 9, 2010
• Your'e always punching above your weight morbo, good on ya ! and good one. - ray76 Jun 10, 2010

Answer 1

When in Rome act like a Roman.

I would follow the local customs. In the USA, I would shake hands, if in Europe, etc. I would follow the other person's lead. If I knew the local custom, I would put aside my own standards and try to adopt the other person's.

Of course, gender, age, context (formal or informal meeting) would all effect my course of action.

Answer 2

Quentin, I seriously doubt you would be able to adapt here

We kiss everybody, new friends, the boss, somebody you know....everybody is kissed on both cheeks and hugged, men and women alike.

Men shake hands, but you will be hugged and kissed by all women here and expected to kiss and hug back

• Oh! I should move there! Where's that greetings paradise? - AntMexico Jun 9, 2010
• You're absolutely correct. I prefer that no one invade my "personal space" without invitation, but I'd adapt rather than be rude. - qfreed Jun 9, 2010
• Yup, the Spanish are pretty big on their kissing. I ran out of the house w/o kissing my landlady. She cried and told me I treated her badly. - miznandi Oct 17, 2010

Answer 3

In the U.S., it is customary for men to shake the hand of a woman when being introduced by another person. Usually, if a woman and man are introducing themselves to each other, they just say "hello" and begin talking.

When we meet people we know, it is common for women to hug other men or women. Men usually just shake hands with each other, although there is the newly popular "bro hug". Some examples (The "bro" hug is at the end. )

Occasionally, we will kiss someone on the cheek, but only once. I know in Europe, it is customary to kiss once on each cheek. However, that is not done in America.

Answer 4

In Mexico, as is the custom, if it's not a formal situation, I kiss a woman on the cheek. (If it's formal, I shake hands - gingerly). With a man, I shake hands.

In the USA, I shake hands with both men & women.

In Russia, I say "Очень Приятна" and no physical contact with a woman. With a man, I shake hands.

Answer 5

Please let me share my extensive experience as a most manly man in the US. I've added a list below because greeting people can be a little confusing:

1. In professional environments (meetings, school, work, etc.) it is customary to shake hands with both men and women in the same manner - without showing charm for women. However, when shaking hands with a man ALWAYS raise one eyebrow while staring him in the eyes. If you can raise an eyebrow and wink at the same time, even better!

2. With, women, and female friends it's fine to hug and kiss. However, it's not something everybody does, so it takes a little experience judging body language. Often, the woman may place her LEFT hand firmly on your right buttock, but this is a polite way of saying 'hey pal.. what's up?'. The proper response by the man is not what you would expect though; you NEVER want to place your left hand on the woman's right buttock, this is just plain rude. The proper response is for the man to place his right hand on the top of her head, and pet it 5 times.

3. Greetings between us MANLY men or often a more theatrical performance than a greeting. For instance, maybe a bro-hug amongst buddies is warranted, but in the Baltimore-Washington area we tend to prefer the 'knuckle-tap', and/or a solid punch to the left shoulder. If the knuckle-tap/shoulder punch goes well, we will proceed to the finger-grab, top and bottom hand smack combination greeting. This is proper etiquette for friends, but not women, or your boss.... that would just be silly. When in a bar, it is accepted etiquette to jump into the air, and 'chest-bump' each other, but only if the women are watching... because, trust me, the air-borne chest-bump really impresses the women - and like a fine bottle of wine, you never want to waste one! Truly advanced male greeters can pull off the 'jumping chest bump with high-five' followed by a very loud primordial scream. But beware, if you are near them you may be expected to participate.

4. Finally, if you try any of the above be prepared to run. Because chances are someone will be pretty mad at you... so maybe it's just best to just shake hands and move along, unless someone comes at you with a hug or kiss first.

• je!je!je! - Lise-Laroche Jun 9, 2010
• wow you have lots of experience primus. - lovely_lovel Jun 10, 2010
• and what about the second way firmly on your right buttock, but this is a polite way of saying 'hey pal.. what's up?'. The proper response by the man is not what you would expect though; you NEVER want to place your left hand on the woman's right buttock, - lovely_lovel Jun 10, 2010
• place his right hand on the top of her head, and pet it 5 times.lol - lovely_lovel Jun 10, 2010

Answer 6

In Costa Rica when I meet a woman for the first time as I shake her hand move a little closer at the same time. If she offers her cheek, I give her a kiss, if she does not I leave it as a hand shake. Most women present the cheek.

• Nice, I´ll keep it in mind when I go there. thanks for the tip - mediterrunio Oct 17, 2010

Answer 7

A kind of 'fake kiss' is very usual... it's like this: just touch cheek with cheek and make a 'muak' sound with your lips but without really kissin other person's cheek. That's weird!

• Air kiss - Yeser007 Jun 9, 2010
• Muah - ian-hill Jun 10, 2010

Answer 8

Julian said:

In the USA, I shake hands with both men & women.

This is what I do with people I meet for the first time and with business associates. After a first meeting my new/old friends usually give a hug or a kiss on the cheek.

Answer 9

In Russia, it's kiss, kiss, kiss...Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, woman to woman. Or (often) on the mouth. Yikes!

• I agree, some people do this, but the question asked was about first-time meetings. - JulianChivi Jun 9, 2010

Answer 10

In the Philippines and more than 30 years ago, only men exchange handshakes on first meeting. It was considered almost taboo for the opposite sex meeting for the first time to touch each other. Even women do not exchange handshakes as the gesture was considered a masculine behavior. Eventually, it has become customary for everyone to shake hands on first meeting. In that way, it seems that we have adopted the American way.

Close friends (among women or between men and women) who have not seen each other for some time would at times hug, but more often just exchange cheek-to-cheek "kisses", which we call here as beso-beso - obviously a Spanish influence. Only men who are very close to each other may go as far as give each other a hug, but normally it will just be a handshake.

If any of you will travel to the Philippines, you can get by with a handshake any time. If you make some very good friends here and it's time to say goodbye, if you feel like it, a beso-beso (but never between 2 men) or even a hug will be all right.

Answer 11

i would just say hello in my language. no physical contact. its different in canada though. but in some cultures, you cant even make eye contact.

Answer 12

First time meetings in Guatemala:

• man meets man ... handshake
• woman meets woman ... cheek to cheek "kisses"
• man meets woman ... arm to arm touches

The man - woman greeting (arm to arm touches) is different than what I have experienced in other countries. The man and woman reach out to each other with whichever arm is closest ... if a woman is slightly to my left (but facing me) then I reach out with my left arm while she reaches out with her right. With our hands we then touch each other just above the elbow. This greeting can be done with either arm, whichever is more convenient. If I reach out with my right arm, the woman would reach out with her left; again we would touch each other just above the elbow.

Answer 13

Some of us old timers here in the US will remember that you only shake a woman's hand if she first offers it to you otherwise just smile and say hello.

• That's how it was here too during the "incubation period" of men shaking hands with women. I think there's still a trace of that up to this time. - Rikko Jun 9, 2010

Answer 14

You know how reserved the British are "supposed to be" - well I like all the kissing and hugging. How else would I get any?

Now I know what a kiss from an unshaven man feels like - so I buy new razor blades frequently.

• Couldn't agree more Ian! - galsally Oct 12, 2010

Answer 15

The last year, in 2009, we were told about avoiding shaking hands and kissing cheeks... also avoiding hugs to prevent SARS influence infection.