Stunning: Surrendered Wives

Question

The Surrendered Wife In the battle of the sexes there dissent in the ranks. Hard won equality is being surrendered by a new breed of women who are happy to let their men take charge. So when some promise to love, honour and obey; they mean it. Obedient wives, a rare breed of women who would rather iron trousers than wear them.

the women who have decided that the recipe for marital bliss lies in obedience, submissiveness and domesticity.... spend her days as a housewife looking after her accountant husband and their four children. And 26-year-old mother and wife Crystal believes that a wife’s primary role is to support and assist her husband. She thinks that wives who work are selfish and that a good wife knows when to keep her mouth shut.

I was very surprised to see a programme on Spanish TV yesterday about this movement in the States where women willingly "surrender" to another person, namely her husbands.

I am so stunned I cannot believe this exists in a modern world, I am speechless, does not happen very often, trust me

• shocking, wrong category! lol - Heidita Nov 26, 2009

Answer 1

Surrender in marriage works both ways.

While I would never go so far as to "bow my head" to anyone, in marriage as in business, I will always willingly "surrender" or change my course if someone, be it my husband or a business colleague, presents a reasoned and valid argument for my doing so.

Of course, I would expect them to do the same in return.

This attitude has, over the years, led to a number of very spirited reasoned discussions!

• great answer, andd sorry, but I cannot agree with aloshek, - Heidita Jan 11, 2010

Answer 2

I am among those who have come to the conclusion that there is greater freedom in surrendering myself to a man who is able to fulfill the role of protector and provider and allow him his rightful place as head of household. I don't believe that women should just bow their head to every man, but to the man who has their best interest at heart and who loves and cherishes them and is capable of honoring a woman in the way that she should be. It may seem old fashioned, but it works, it worked for centuries before, and it still works now.

• Well put! - coma Nov 26, 2009
• Very well said. I agree, it is about honor. Amen! - sonja-bo-bon Dec 22, 2010

Answer 3

True equality and freedom in marriage are found in the principles of the Bible. As Jesus Christ is the head of the Church, so is the Husband the head of the marriage. But also remember that Christ died for His Church. Marriage is a partnership of equals but each has their own duties and reponsiblities. When both partners fulfill their responsibilties faithfully the marriage is happy and successful. The Bible also tells us that the man is to love the woman as himself. As a husband, putting the needs and desires of my wife ahead of my own, protecting her and providing for her is my duty. And after 10 years of marriage it seems to be working very well.

• This biblical concept of Headship was a stumbling block for me. I agree with the concept of prioritizing duties and responsibilites to minimize conflicts, but to artibtrarily fix the responsibilities according solely to gender never appealed to me. - qfreed Nov 27, 2009
• In general it may appear that duties are gender determined but the Bible gives us plenty of examples of God calling women to fulfill His purpose when men were unwilling or unable to do so. Check out Esther in the Bible. - elcielo Nov 28, 2009

Answer 4

Aloshek, I on the other hand believe no woman should bend her head to anybody, especially not her husband. I t should be a togetherness of two people on the same level, not one below the other....

There is no such thing as a rightful place of a man in a household. In a household there are two people on an equal and balanced basis.

• bow her head....only the expression makes me sick - Heidita Nov 26, 2009
• Oh, Heidita, there is absolute equality...allowing a man to be a protector and provider does not mean that he becomes a dictator of the family. - aloshek Nov 26, 2009
• It also does not mean that the woman becomes a slave to the whims and fancies of the man either. Maybe what I believe and practice is not the same as what is talked about in the book, I don't know. What does the book say? - aloshek Nov 26, 2009
• Perfect post, Heidita - --Mariana-- Nov 26, 2009
• Does that mean that I can stop bowing to you, Heidita?! - hithere3387 Nov 26, 2009
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Answer 5

My best friend, a woman, is definitely the head of her household. You may find this shocking, but he bows his head to her....completely. He will not even answer a question without referring to her. This works for them and he is not afraid to say so.

We both bow our heads in this household, depending on the day. I deal with clinical depression and there are days that I need him to be my protector, days that I feel weak. Other days, when I am strong, I take over emotionally to give him a break.

Without this equality of bowing, we would not survive.

• The last sentence is really good... And it´s a shame that it´s so hard to learn when to bow and to whom. - Issabela Nov 26, 2009

Answer 6

Since I believe the Bible is true, then I also believe that Ephesians 5:24-25 is true. However, that doesn't mean I agree with everything written in The Surrendered Wife as I have never read it.

Ephesians 5:24-25 (King James Version)

24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

(Thanks Q and Issabella for your help with this post)

• Um...can anyone see what is wrong with my link? I can't seem to make it work. - webdunce Nov 26, 2009
• It works ok if you copy and paste it into a browser - silly question, but you're not trying to post it as a picture, are you? I've made that mistake before. - sheila-foste Nov 26, 2009
• Oh, I see. There is a space in the URL, but that cannot be helped. - webdunce Nov 26, 2009
• Well, sheila, you should not see the url, you should see "these verses" underlined and clickable. - webdunce Nov 26, 2009
• webdunce. For never reading the Bible you did a very good job of citing the verse I was thinking about when I wrote my comment. - elcielo Nov 26, 2009
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Answer 7

Here's advice from a 51 year old very married man:

1. Remember chicas, it takes a heckuva good man to be better than none, so don't settle.

2. Forget about what a man says. . . it's how he acts towards you that counts.

3. If you don't tell him right away that what he's doing bugs you (like while you still care about him) it'll get to a point where you'll stop caring about him and because everything he does will bug you.

4. A man is like a hardwood floor, girls. If you lay it right the first time you can walk all over it forever. (Okay, just checking to see if you're paying attention)

5. Finally, as for me. When there's some issue being discussed on TV I just turn to my wife and ask, "Now what's my opinion on that again Dear?"

   Hope this helps

• :))) funny... and true at times - Issabela Nov 27, 2009
• definetely getting my vote....especially for the last sentence!! lol - Heidita Nov 27, 2009

Answer 8

The word "should" is a very dangerous one to apply to another individual besides yourself.

If anything " should" happen in any society I hope it is along the lines of letting people do what is good for them in their private life as long as it is not harmful to themselves or others.Free will as it were.

I think these opinion threads should be written in the language that the individual is learning otherwise I do not understand why it is on this site. I would rather talk about the weather.

• :) - aloshek Nov 26, 2009
• :) Bien dicho, from an anthropology major. - sonja-bo-bon Dec 22, 2010

Answer 9

I don´t know why all you women are getting upset about the male being the dominant species. It stands to reason that´s the way God intended it to be. Of course women should be subservient to men and yes, even bow their heads in the presense of their men. I know for a fact that I have total rule in my household and if my wife were ever to disobey me then !!!!!

What´s that love, no I am not on the computer again, Yes, yes, yes, I have already made the beds and washed the kitchen floor. Jesus Christ, why don´t she leave me alone. Look I have to go now, I still have to do the dishes but I will finish this when she has gone out and left me in peace.

• Very funny Eddy. Still can't get the wife to wash the car? jeje - Nicole-B Nov 28, 2009

Answer 10

Estoy muy de acuerdo con Heidita sobre esto. Con todo respeto, creo que este el “surrendered wife” movimiento es una ideología religiosa y política de los fundamentalistas cristianos en las Estados Unidos. Trato a mi mujer como a un igual. Admiro una mujer que piensa de forma independiente.

• ¿De dónde eres Juan? - Heidita Nov 26, 2009
• Estoy en los Estados Unidos. - Juan60 Nov 26, 2009
• Wake up Juan!! Have you considered there might be a REASON she asked you?? (Just funnin") - garytruckey Nov 26, 2009
• I imagine that Heidita can speak for herself. :) - Juan60 Nov 27, 2009

Answer 11

I think that some American women are just sick of the so-called equality, when in fact they were supposed to work full time, look after their children and the house at the same time. They're fed up with the image of Ally McBeal or Samantha Jones. The welfare society enables them to stay at home on just one income and still enjoy their lives, without privation. Whereas in Europe, mostly in post-soviet countries, we are still fighting for a better social status, which can be easier achieved by the means of DINKS (Double Income, No Kids).

• You are right there Issabela - true equality will never be achieved until men learn how to use an iron. - sheila-foste Nov 26, 2009
• True equality will be achieved when women learn how to stack 100 pound concrete blocks. - Malenor Nov 26, 2009
• I regularly stack 50kg sacks of animal feed - does that count? - sheila-foste Nov 26, 2009
• yes. - Malenor Nov 26, 2009
• Malenor, do ALL men learn how to stack 100 pound concrete blocks? - Issabela Nov 27, 2009
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Answer 12

I am simply thankful that in the EE UU, we have the choice to identify our roles in marriage to comply with our personal convictions and beliefs. What I believe and practice is not for everyone and I would never insist that that is the way that it should be for all marriages. There are some countries where the choice to identify your roles in a relationship are not allowed. The roles are still rigidly defined by religious or traditional practices.

Answer 13

These types of books were written especially to "wind people up" and to cause controversy (and to get a lot of publicity and sell thousands of copies). The Surrendered Wife could not have been a particularly good book as it is on sale on Amazon for next to nothing.

Here is another one to get you all going.....

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands: What Successful Marriage is Really About (Paperback) by Laura Schlessinger

• Brocolli is a good food, but milk chocolate is a far more popular choice. Being more popular doesn't equate to being right or good. - webdunce Nov 26, 2009
• omg....feeding of husbands, wonderful!!! lol - Heidita Nov 27, 2009

Answer 14

I think a woman should have her own personality. Anyway, I am not suprised with this piece of news. There will always be people who are wishing to play this role in life.

I mean, you can be a good wife but that doesn't mean that you have to be an obedient wife. You have your own opinion. Don't you think?

• genial:) - Heidita Nov 27, 2009

Answer 15

You are right there Issabela - true equality will never be achieved until men learn how to use an iron. - sheila-foste 3 hrs ago delete | flag

What´s an iron?

• Slow down, Eddy, you still need to figure out what the washing machine is! -lol - aloshek Nov 26, 2009
• a male problem, multi-tasking. Does the iron go in the washing machine? - Eddy Nov 26, 2009
• yes Eddy, put the iron in the washing machine with the cat. - nizhoni1 Nov 26, 2009
• omg.....lol - Heidita Nov 27, 2009
• So you use wooden or fiberglass clubs? Irons are the clubs with the smaller heads. - qfreed Nov 27, 2009