Being polite goes both ways.

Question

We have recently been discussing ways to improve things here. This was discussed very recently in the forum Heidi's post. Moe has been creating ways to help newcomers and everyone has generally been more conscientious than ever about welcoming people, helping, and even correcting them.

So, has this happened to anyone?

You spend time putting together a "quality" answer; you look things up; copy and paste; check and double check dictionaries; add cool pics, etc. only to hear nothing back from the person asking the question? Now I know that some will say that people are learning regardless... that the info will help others and that the person putting together the answer will even learn. However, what I am suggesting is that politeness goes both ways.

The regulars here are excellent about responding and commenting on answers. But for me, I really appreciate when people respond one way or the other. I don't even care if they say I totally misunderstood their question. Just knowing they at least saw our answers is something I appreciate. I think that feedback is helpful and allows us to know if we were on the right track with the answers. So Moe, if you are reading this, perhaps this can be a suggestion for those new to posting here. Or then again, maybe I am just tired and cranky.

Answer 1

Starcrafted said: I didn't know I could comment on answers...

I was the same way. In fact, I wonder how many people post their questions after not being able to find the definition for a word, like bleen in the dictionary for this site. If you click on the above link (a word that doesn't actually exist), you will see at the bottom is the invitation:

Have a Spanish question? Get help from experts!

I'm not sure who those experts are, but when they didn't show up, I've been known to throw out an answer or two to a question.

It could be that people don't realize they are joining a forum, where discussions are taking place and where there is an interchange of ideas, thoughts and learning. Perhaps they think its another type of automated response.

I have seen a couple of "thank you's" that made me think the person hadn't realized at first what an incredible resource they were tapping into. Look at Mike's comment that he posted to his own question here: listening-is-hard. Comments like that make my day!

• yes, chaparra we dont get this often...true - Heidita Nov 10, 2009
• Mike's answer was great and really raises the bar! But that is the exception rather than the rule. Go Mike!! - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009
• I think you have touched on something here. Samdie made a similar comment recently. The way our forum is first presented to newcomers seems to encourage them to think it's a convenience-store for answers... a help-desk. - Valerie Nov 10, 2009
• hey guys thanks for the kind remarks. i consider my self as quite polite but i will give as good as i get. i will always treat people the way you like to be treated!! i am honoured that you mentioned me in this way!!! - mike123587 Nov 10, 2009

Answer 2

I think a lot of them are very impatient and expect an immediate answer. When they don't get that answer within 12 seconds they log off. Of course, this is just me thinking "out loud".

• And you better respond to this. - Seitheach Nov 10, 2009
• Excellent answer! Excellent response time and perfect grammar!! You get a perfect score. - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009
• jejejejje - Heidita Nov 10, 2009
• pelota, NIcole:P - Heidita Nov 10, 2009
• I think that answer is very true. - 00515f39 Nov 10, 2009
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Answer 3

Buenos días Nicole, una manera bonita de comenzar el día es ver un bonito post como este

I have been thinking about this too, fact is that people seem to be little appreciative. I wonder why people think it is too much to ask to say please and thank you in their posts....well, but I have opted for ignoring this.

It happens in real life all the time, people are an ungrateful lot, jeje, so I prefer to concentrate on the other lot, like you

• I know this is the way a lot of people are. I was just wondering if anyone else noticed and if there was something we could do to encourage a small percentage to change their ways. jeje - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009
• Thank you! :) - Seitheach Nov 10, 2009
• Oh and thank you for concentrating on the "nice" people. There are so many nice people on this forum. - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009

Answer 4

Well I posted that question about anyone being interested in watching a show, and while at first everyone replied as if they were interested, when I posted the actual show it become a ghost town. :(. Oh well. I wonder if I am a regular.

• You are Jeezzle...you are!! (a regular) - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009
• Thank you Nicole. - jeezzle Nov 10, 2009
• Who is Jeezzle? Just kidding. You're a regular. - Seitheach Nov 10, 2009
• What show? - cheeseisyumm Nov 10, 2009
• And didn't you mean to say "I wonder if I am IRregular" ? If so, you should cut out dairy and add more fiber to your diet. :) hehe - cheeseisyumm Nov 10, 2009
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Answer 5

Well, Nicole, I'm one of those folks who has been consistently learning from reading answers to what OTHER people ask for over a year now. So thank you all!!

• That is great Valerie. That is the good thing about this. No one's efforts go to waste because somebody is always learning something from the excellent answers on this forum. - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009
• I agree. The same question could get answered by someone else, in a slightly different way, and make all the difference. - chaparrito Nov 10, 2009

Answer 6

Wishing for politeness and being tired and cranky are not mutually exclusive states of mind! I have noticed the same thing.I just have to keep reminding myself that this site is open to millions of people with as many perspectives.

I think I need to check the "follow this answer box" more often as some posts get lost as they age.

When I screw up the courage to make a real educated attempt at grammar I will take the critique of someone like Robertico, Izanoni or others more skilled but not named as acknowledgement of my efforts.

• It was after midnight, I'm not usuallly tired and cranky Nizhoni. jeje - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009

Answer 7

For me the first day I started on this site I didn't know I could comment on answers I thought I didn't have the ability to answer questions or later I found out that commenting on an answer is different from answering a question. Once I found out I can comment on questions I always try and comment or thank them for the help.

• That is a good point. I think you need 10 points to comment. There are people who wait for a few answers and then thank everyone for their help by posting an answer. - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009

Answer 8

Getting back to Starcrafted's comments...You are doing the right thing by saying "thank you" to the answers that are helpful. I understand that at times, people ask a question, not to return for hours. That is understandable.

I don't think that you have to personally thank every single person who has answered you. It is polite to make a comment here and there if time allows.

I am referring to the people who pop on and off the forum. They ask questions that sometimes require a little work or research. Two or more people will provide excellent answers. Usually the people answering really want to be of help and wonder if the person posting the question has received and understood the answer. But all they receive for their efforts is...silence. And as Heidi says, they often don't say please or thank you.

I know that there are a good portion of people out there who will be rude. Perhaps they look at this site as a machine, just pumping out answers for them and don't realize there are real people doing the work. I guess I was just wondering if there was a way to encourage the percentage of people out there who are innocently doing this, to start giving us a little feedback to the answers that are provided here.

Answer 9

When I screw up the courage to make a real educated attempt at grammar I will take the critique of someone like Robertico, Izanoni or others more skilled but not named as acknowledgement of my efforts.

I am absolutely flattered by this statement Nizhoni, but I am not sure that my own name should be mentioned in the same breath as Robertico's as I am sure my own understanding is far less perfect than his.

• See how a brief comment can make your day Izanoni! Hopefully Robertico will see it too. - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009
• I see what you mean Nicole...and thank you so much for such an interesting thread :-) - Izanoni1 Nov 10, 2009

Answer 10

Jeezzle, you are correct about everyone being interested in watching a show. I am looking but having difficulty finding the post. Does anyone remember the name of the show? I think we should show some support. Gracias.

• Beakmans world. - Seitheach Nov 10, 2009
• Gracias - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009

Answer 11

So if you ask a question and get 10+ answers should you go through each person and say "thank you" or some acknowledgement? Personally I just say thank you for the answers that were helpful to me. What does everyone else do? And also time is a factor sometimes I ask a question and then I have class so I won't get back on here for many hours.

• No, that is not necessary. I am referring to those who receive several good answers to their question, but never seem to check back on them or even acknowledge them. - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009
• I usually say "Thanks" in my question and then a general "thanks everyone" when I get back to the post and see the answers. - --Mariana-- Nov 10, 2009
• It is as if they ask the question and then fall off the face of the earth. - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009
• Marianne, that is the best way of doing it. By the way, my falling off the face of the earth comment should go above yours. I guess we were typing at the same time again. jeje - Nicole-B Nov 10, 2009
• Sometimes the best dialog and help are found in the comment section. It's more relaxed and informal. - 005457e3 Nov 10, 2009
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