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Okay, the only category I could fit this into was proofreading or general discussion, so...

Please read this. It is posted in the answer below. I also have attached a link at the bottom to the first chapter if you didn't get a chance to read it. Comment on any changes that you think I should make to make it better. I am also working on translating this into Spanish, so others can read it.

Posted Nov 4, 2009
| Edited by HOOAH Nov 4, 2009
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HOOAH

Whoops. Here is the full version. For some reason, it didn't come out right:

Chapter 2

"Of all the places to track a group of Skraan, why did it have to be to the Ruins?” Talia groaned.

“I guess it was the most likely,” commented Isal. He hated the Ruins just as much as Talia did. It was a remnant of old buildings that were known to have contained Skraan in the past, and most likely held them again.

Talia and Isal had tracked the Skraan on their path to the Ruins, continuing to see signs of battle along the way. It seemed as though Peren had put up quite a fight whenever possible. Isal was proud of his friend. Peren had always been known as a fighter. He was a strong nineteen year old that had bonded with a red Serian, which had always been more warrior-like than any other color.

Each color of Serian had its own clan, each full of Serians that were very similar to each other. Talia came from the Uryon clan, which was known for loyalty and speed. Degond, Peren’s Serian, had come from the Ropac clan, a clan full of strong, red Serians like himself. Isal was surprised that there was no sign of him yet; he had never been one to give up easily.

Talia leaped onto the top of a small building in one easy, graceful jump. She looked out into the distance. The suns were setting. Isal, after a few seconds of climbing, managed to get up there with her. He looked out at the sky with her. The sunset was beautiful. It was a mix of blues, reds purples and even greens. The three suns slowly sank beneath the horizon.

Talia looked back at Isal. “Come on.” She jumped down, Isal following a bit more slowly. When they were both on the ground, they started following the tracks again.

Isal wasn’t sure whether to be worried about his friend or not. Peren definitely was able to take care of himself. He had lost his two parents from Skraan, and because of this he and his brother Dresden harbored a greater hate for Skraan than Isal had thought possible.

Isal remembered that when he got his scar, he had been with Peren. They had defended themselves with only Isal’s laser knife and Peren’s rail gun. Isal and Peren had gotten lost in an area of Greenert and been attacked by a swarm of fledglings. Although they had escaped mostly unscathed, Isal had still been stuck by the beak of one of the fledglings.

Isal was brought out of his thoughts by a low growl from Talia. Her hackles were raised and she was baring her fangs in an easterly direction.

“What’s wrong, Talia?” Isal whispered.

“Quiet, Isal. We’re being followed. I can hear its footsteps.”

As per usual, Talia’s sense of hearing and smell had greatly surpassed Isal’s. He looked in the direction that Talia was growling, and saw a shadow that seemed to be moving down a hill towards them. He pulled out his laser knife and flipped its safety off. He readied his weapon.

The strange object continued moving down the hill, bearing down on Isal and his wolf-like friend. Then . . .

“Talia? Isal? What you doing here?” the deep, loud voice brought instant recognition to Isal and Talia.

“Degond!” Isal cried happily. He and Talia both ran forward and stood in front of the Ropac Serian. Degond looked at them strangely.

“You look for Peren too? I search, not find. Tracks lead me here, to you. I guess you follow tracks too. I right?”

Talia smiled at the big Serian. He was definitely not one that was incredibly smart, which wasn’t very strange in red Serians, but he was a good fighter. It would be good to have him with if she and Isal had to get in a fight. “Yes, Degond. We’re looking for Peren. Your company would be welcome.”

So, as a group, they continued tracking the Skraan and their prisoner. Eventually, they came to a place where the tracks entered a building that was mostly intact. Talia stopped at the entrance, sniffing the air. “They’re here. I can smell them, and hear the buzzing.”

For some unknown reason, Skraan liked to save prisoners for a day or two before eating them. Perhaps they thought it made them taste better. No one really knew. But because of this, there was a good chance that Peren was still alive and relatively unharmed.

Isal, Talia, and Degond readied themselves and entered the building. They were very careful to stay together, because if you got lost here, there was almost no possibility you would get out. Isal and Degond followed Talia, who was leading them with her powerful senses.

They went down a curving hallway, turned left, turned left again, and stopped at what used to be a door, but was now just an empty hole in the stone. There was light flickering off the walls, and noises were coming from inside the room. Also, it was all the rescue team could do to survive the stench that was wafting out of the room.

Isal listened closely. He could hear the buzzing sound of the fledglings, but more importantly he could hear speech.

“Let me go, you maggot-sucking, pig-licking, pathetic, stupid, ugly monsters! Give me a real fight, instead of taking the chicken way!”

That was definitely Peren.

“Shuts yer mouths, stooooopid hyumannnn, and eeeeaaats yer grueeeels!”

And that was definitely the fully grown Skraan. The hissing, rough, guttural speech gave Isal the creeps. They were apparently trying to fatten Peren up. Isal looked at Talia and Degond, and then held up three fingers…then two… then one… and then none.

They stealthily ran into the room, and took a quick glance around. There was a large fireplace in the middle of the room, and a group of fledglings that were flying around above it. Across the room, there were five Skraan clustered around Peren, who was tied to a stake in the ground. The Skraan were trying to force him to eat their disgusting gruel, and he was refusing to swallow. The teenager immediately saw the rescue party, though he said nothing. He simply nodded slightly in their direction, so that the Skraan wouldn’t notice anything.

Isal pulled his laser knife out of his pocket. He shot a meaningful glance at Talia and Degond, who followed him closer to the group of Skraan. Once he was close enough, he jumped onto the back of the one in the middle of the half circle, and the creature roared in surprise. Talia rammed the back of one, while Degond leaped at another, instantly killing him with a swipe of his sharp claws across the throat. Isal flipped the switch on his laser knife and stabbed his Skraan through the eye. He turned to Peren and cut through the ropes holding his arms to the stake.

As soon as he was free, Peren leaped onto the last Skraan available and strangled him. Isal turned to the incoming swarm of fledglings, holding his laser knife in front of him like a sword.

As one came swooping towards him, Isal swiftly sliced it in half with his laser weapon. Another came, and with a twitch of his wrist Isal cut it into pieces, which landed on the floor. Soon, a dozen fledgling carcasses were in a pile in front of him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Peren swing the rope that Isal had cut like it was a mace, batting down the fledglings that swarmed him, eager for a taste of his blood. Talia and Degond were working as a team, swiping at the mosquito like creatures that attacked them.

As quickly as it began, it was over. The bodies of the creatures that Isal, Peren, Talia and Degond had killed were in piles on the floor. The five Skraan that were on the floor were still in the same places that they had been when they died; three by claws and teeth, one by laser knife; and the other by strangulation.

The four friends left the large room where the battle had taken place, and found their way out of the huge ruinous building that they had been in. After entering the clean, fresh, night air, they took a deep breath and sighed, finally relaxing.

“Thanks, guys.” Peren said. “I don’t think that I would have lasted much longer in there.”

Isal laughed. “You sure couldn’t tell by your voice. I would have thought you were ready to take on an entire army of Skraan!”

Degond and Talia howled with happiness. Peren walked over to Degond and patted him on the back. “Let’s go home.” Peren said.