Why do you think husbands always disappoint their wives?

Question

Why do you always think husbands always disappoint their wives? Do you believe in the institution of marriage? Everyone is getting divorced, so why not just have fun and date w/o the marriage certificate? I think I'm done with the Latinos. They don't want to work hard, or at all, and want us to do everything for them! Es la verdad!!!

• Please change your category to "general discussions" this is not a vocabulary or grammar question. - LAtINaPunKRO Oct 17, 2009
• I did it for you :) - LAtINaPunKRO Oct 17, 2009

Answer 1

Quote from RuthieB Everyone is getting divorced, so why not just have fun and date w/o the marriage certificate?

No, everyone is not getting divorced. I've been married 26 years, and it is "till death do us part."

And that's the reason you get married- you become committed family. You don't go out and swap mothers or father do you? You don't trade in your brother for a different one, do you? No you don't. You can't.... because your mom is your mom and always will be. If you have problems within that family, you work it out.

That is what a marriage is supposed to accomplish. And that is why couples stand before God and their friends and family, and make a solemn vow to live the rest of their lives together.

Now how are you going to split up when you've made a vow like that? But people do it all the time because they don't take their vow seriously. And that is wrong.

Husbands do disappoint their wives, and wives disappoint their husbands, just like sons and daughters and moms and dad and sisters and brothers and best friends all disappoint the ones they love. That's part of the human condition.

But that's where commitment and love hold things together long enough for forgiveness and reconciliation to occur.

I hope you will carefully consider that, and find someone that you can be family with. And make that commitment, say those vows and mean them. Then stick to it.

May God grant you the happiness in marriage that I have in mine.

• Nice response, Greg. - --Mariana-- Oct 18, 2009
• I was going to post something, but after reading this--how can I? I think you said it all. Great post Greg! - Izanoni1 Oct 18, 2009
• Yes, you said it all. Super response! - Lise-Laroche Oct 18, 2009
• Amazing response. I wish I could vote, because that's what a lot of people in the world need to hear. - yvonneibe7 Oct 18, 2009
• Great answer! - Seitheach Oct 18, 2009
View 1 more commments >>

Answer 2

Another comment from me on this topic. I believe that a "true" and "loving" relationship between a man and a woman is the biggest adventure life has to offer. I think only the words of poetry can get close to defining or explaining it - it is a magical mystery.

• Alright Ian - you get my vote for being such a hopeless romantic. - Izanoni1 Oct 18, 2009
• getting myu vote too:) - Heidita Oct 18, 2009

Answer 3

One reason marriages don't last long nowadays is that couples don't take the time to get to know each other before they get wed. In my youth you would "court" a girlfriend for years before you got married. During that time common interests came to the fore. You had plenty of time to see whether you got on together once that initial "sexual attraction" abated. Suffice it to say you got through a lot of courtships before you found the right person. This was preferable to todays pattern where couples go through a lot of marriages before they find the right person.

• Great point Eddy...I agree it has to do with a change in lifestyle over time. Everybody wants things Now and are not willing to wait...Fast food, drive fast, live fast, and I suppose marry fast as well. - Izanoni1 Oct 18, 2009
• After your recent aniversary, I'm awaiting your marriage book. I'll read it, whether it is in English or Spanish!!! - Nicole-B Oct 18, 2009

Answer 4

I've been married 11 years this November, and I have to say it is the best decision I ever made. I'm not saying my husband is perfect and sometimes irritates me. But he is basically a great person who I admire and love every day. We are all irritating - I know I am.

You said that you feel men do not work hard. I hear that complaint from other women a lot. I am convinced that "hard working" is rarely on people's wish list for a mate, but it needs to be! Having a family is a lot of work!

I'm sorry you have had some bad experiences, but that is not all there is! My husband works very hard - he does all the laundry, half the cooking, is an involved father, runs a home business and remodels the house, gardens and mows and chops wood and fixes the cars...etc! He is so invaluable to me.

Everyone is annoying sometimes. But if you are hard working and useful, you are easier to tolerate on your annoying days. I try to be as hardworking as my husband, but I can't!

There are also people who just could never would never cheat. I know because I am one of them, and so is my husband.

Now, I just need to learn how to say this all en español y entonces esto sería apropiado para este foro.

Answer 5

Wrong. It is wives that disappoint their husbands. It is my wife that slept with my friend and killed my chances of ever trusting another woman. As for your comment about Latinos? They are the most caring, hard working people I have ever met, but you madam, are beneath their courtesies.

• omg, sorry to hear that. - Heidita Oct 18, 2009
• Great answer, Jeezzle! - --Mariana-- Oct 18, 2009
• Don't give up on those hopes just yet Jeezle. That was a terrible thing for you to have to go through, but don't forget that life is full of good surprises as well - Izanoni1 Oct 18, 2009
• You're right. I don't think that any one ethnic group is better or worse at commitments. You can't let a view be the representation of an entire group. That goes for your wife as well. - yvonneibe7 Oct 18, 2009

Answer 6

I love being married!

Of course, within a family there will always be some disappointment at sometime in their lives -- that's the nature of human beings.

On the other hand, marriage and companionship brings great joy.

You take the good with the bad.

• Nice post - Izanoni1 Oct 18, 2009

Answer 7

I think people disappoint themselves and blame it on someone else whether they are married or not.

• good point. - ChamacoMalo Oct 18, 2009

Answer 8

I think there is some truth in the idea that a woman marries in the expectation that she can make " her man " into the ideal one she (thinks she) wants. But I don't think men always disappoint their wives.

Mi novia / amgia boliviana de algunos años, dice que ella quiere a su hijo a casarse con una mujer latina, pero su hija a casarse con un hombre europeo. Todavía estoy tratando de averiguar por qué. Alguien tiene alguna idea?

On a personal level I have been divorced twice - both of which I regret - but I don't know how I could have made things happen in a better way. I will try again if I get the chance. Life is much better when you can share it with someone special.

Answer 9

I was married for 13 years and 8 months (back in 2004) and the day I landed in Afghanistan my divorce was final. My (then) wife did not want to have to deal with the possibility I may die.

Who was the dissapointment there?

I came back from that war alive. She told me she had made a mistake. To late! I am a soldier. I am not going to go through that crap everythime I deploy.

I later met the wonderful woman I am married to now. Before we decided to commit to each other in a relationship I explained that I will deploy and if she can't handle it I would walk away. She decided to stick with me.

We were married 3 years later. On our first anniversary I was gone with the military getting ready to leave for Iraq. I have just had my second anniversary and I missed that one too by being deployed.

Through all this she has been very supportive and understanding. When I tell her how lucky I am se reminds me that she is the lucky one. After all, when I am home I do all the cooking, I do laundry, I clean the bathrooms....... Marriage is truely a blessing from God, but it has to be worked at by both.

Answer 10

I have been married since the month after I turned 18. Thankfully, we have beat the statistics for teen marriages.

Anyone who relies on "feeling" in love 24 hours a day will run into disappointment at some point. Real love means you put the needs of the other person first and that usually requires some degree of sacrifice. I do believe in marriage and "happily ever after". It is real and romance can last a lifetime. But this can only be sustained with commitment, patience and a true desire to serve each other.

Answer 11

I want to make a comment about men / husbands being unfaithful - "It is not only men who do this."
Just ask the question - "Who are they being unfathful with?"

• Very good point. There are two sides to everything. - yvonneibe7 Oct 18, 2009
• Perfect answer, Ian. - --Mariana-- Oct 18, 2009
• "Whom are they being unfaithful with ..." jeje - samdie Oct 18, 2009
• With whom are they being unfaithful. - ian-hill Oct 19, 2009

Answer 12

Life is much better when you can share it with someone special.

I think the whole thing boils down to this, Ian, congratulation on the sentence, so true

Jee, just try again, there must be someone for you out there.

Answer 13

I think I'm done with the Latinos. They don't want to work hard, or at all, and want us to do everything for them! Es la verdad!!!

This is not too friendly comment, esa esa la verdad...but I am going to leave this on to hear other forers comment about this topic.

Ruth, this is a friendly forum, we do not attack others. Please read the rules.

I don't know, I think men are good guys, generally lazy though, I mean, they don't even know how to pack a suitcase, jeje, ask Joyce, Eddy's wife, they have been married for over 44 years, she will sure know what to say on this topic.

I think they don't mean Moe though, he has been married for 50 years .

Talking about not believing in the institution of marriage.

• If you think I'm letting Joyce loose to talk about me on this site, think again, hehe. - Eddy Oct 18, 2009
• Not knowing how to pack a suitcase is not a case of being lazy Heidita - ian-hill Oct 18, 2009
• A small correction. On Oct 17/09 we celebrated 50 years of knowing each other. Like Eddy, we we waited 2+1/2 years to get married. - Moe Oct 18, 2009
• Ii know some Latino men who are very hard working. My son's school is mostly Latino and I see some very involved fathers too - as many men as women are there to pick up there kids. Don't let your bad experience turn to racism. - kittybrougha Oct 19, 2009

Answer 14

I hope I don't disappoint my wife. She still seems to like me (I think loving someone is easy...liking someone is the hard thing to do), so I must be doing someting right!

• Hi Charmar - I don't think one has any option - One loves or not and one likes or not - you can not "make" yourself do either. - ian-hill Oct 18, 2009
• I think love is a choice every day. Romantic love is easy. It is the love that sacrifices and thinks of the other person first that is hard. - Nicole-B Oct 18, 2009

Answer 15

¿Por qué crees que creo que una cosa así?